Welcome to my undercover mothah of a blog.
Do you ever feel like you just want to BITCHSLAP everyone? No? Just me?
I thought maybe I should define what Bitchtastic Mommy means. It means I'm a mommy, but I am not only a mommy. It means I don't fit into the stereotypical Mommy mold. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I don't obsess over typical childhood milestones. I've never read a parenting magazine, book or the like. I don't worry about too much tv time or too little imagination stimuli. I don't think my children are going to be crippled for life if they don't get into THE preschool all the other moms put their embryos on waiting lists for, and I think that kind of obsessing is in fact, RIDICULOUS.
I laugh when little kids swear. What? It's funny.
I laugh out loud when other people's children say totally inappropriate things in public. You know, those things that make you want to crawl under the nearest building? Yeah, that is funny shit. You know, when it happens to someone else.
I take great pleasure in knowing that I'm not the only one when I see someone else take off running after their screaming holy effing terror at Walmart.
I don't send thank you cards for birthday gifts. I don't sign my kids names to cards when they can't read or write. I say thank you at the party. It's not that I don't appreciate the gift. I do. However, I threw a bash, I invited you, I fed and watered you. Yeah....enough said.
I could spout forever on this, but I want to hear from others. Are you stereotypical or unconventional? Obsessive or Laid-Back?
You can say anything here and we won't think less of you...well, maybe we will, but we want to hear it anyway. So spill it, tell me what inappropriate thing do you love to see kids do, or other mom's suffer through?