Thursday, August 18, 2011

Dear Family...I want a Divorce!

My family irritates the living shit out of me.  I really have no idea how in the name of all that is holy that I came out half way normal.  I really don't.

There's my Dad.  The racist.  Who for the most part is easy going and laid back and just doesn't give a shit in general.

There's my mom.  The hypochondriac, racist and all around crazy bitch.

Then there is my sister the narcissist and my brother the drug addict.

See, you're thinking that my propensity to overindulge in vodka libations is well earned now aren't you?

So...this weekend is my niece's (drug addict's daughter) birthday.  They are having her party at my sister's house because she has a pool.   My mom calls me this afternoon telling me she will pick us up on Saturday.  I was a little perplexed and said "I thought The Narcissist was picking up the boys." <---that was last I had heard about the party.

My mom proceeds to go off about me not taking The Toddler to the party.  It's a pool party, she'll have fun, blah, blah, blah.  Now, I had already told The Narcissist that I wouldn't be bringing The Toddler because she has out of control eczema.  It's all flared up right now and she is broken out from the top of her neck to the tips of her feet.  The pool water?  Yeah....that's exactly what she needs, something else to irritate her skin and dry it out even more.  I decided to keep her at home, rather than take her to the party because the heat and sun only exacerbate the itchy dry skin, and it isn't fair to her to see all the other children playing in the water when she can't get in.

So now, I'm the bad guy?  WTF?  I mean, they just can't imagine why I am not going to come and at least let her play with the other kids.  It's just awful that I would miss my niece's party.  I'm a monster mom because I won't take her in the pool.  I'm the worst Aunt ever because I am not going.  Why don't I just take her to a new specialist about her skin already?  Blah, blah, blah.

I am so pissed I could spit nails.  We have tried every effin' cream, ointment, herbal remedy, oatmeal bath products, oil this, hazelwood necklace that.  It really bothers me because my baby is miserable ALL THE FUCKING TIME and then I am a monster because I might miss a pool party to save her additional irritation?

It's official.  I am divorcing my family.


Destiny said...

After my Mama died I completely cut off all my immediate family because they are nothing but drama, druggies, and just all around horrible people. I do miss my younger siblings from time to time, but I just can't deal with the bullshit or have my children exposed to that, ya know.

Both my older children suffer from fucking eczema too! It's horrible and I don't allow them to swim in those type of pools either! They are pretty bad right now too because of this heat. I've tried all the creams and baths too. Fuck them. Sound like selfish assholes!

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Shirley Ewe-Jest said...

This may be off base but my kids both had eczema and it turned out they had a sensitivity to dairy. ALL dairy, even lactose-free. Dairy is in everything... even bread. Google "hidden sources of dairy" to see what they are, see if trying that helps. We had wonderful pediatricians, none of whom figured this out. If your kiddo also has "urps" (kinda like spitting up in your mouth), that's a big sign that this is what it is. My first child was on different meds for eczema, GERD and loose stools. It was all from dairy. Going no dairy completely cured it, and they do grow out of it, usually by age 4 or so. HTH

Funny I'm being helpful cuz my blog is all about cussing and talking about dicks. :)

Jennifer Brummett said...

For a minute, I thought I wrote this blog. Less the fact that I don't have children. But I have a racist father --- mother whose isn't that crazy but definitely needs therapy --- sister who has a pool and I'm pretty sure is a little narcissistic. Don't worry girl. We all have fucked-up families we would prefer to divorce at times. But I recently learned that I expect way too out of them. You see, they live in a little box and very concerned of what others around them might "think" of them. And then there is me. Balls to the walls. Who is not afraid to say what I'm thinking. You see -- we have toxic families who just don't know any better. So, I've started NOT to expect ANYTHING out of them. I don't expect them to adhere to my own set of rules. They have their own and clearly apply them accordingly. And when I get excluded for whatever reason --- then I don't get mad. I consider it a blessing. If they don't inform me that my grandmother is out of the hospital and back in the nursing home and I have to read it about it online from a cousin. I don't get mad. But bless their hearts, they just don't know any better. And frankly, I just don't think they "get me". They don't understand me. But it's okay because I've got friends who actually "get me" and understand how I tick. You'd think this wouldn't be how it's supposed to work, but apparently lots of families are dysfunction. And I think the ones who try to act as if they are not are just full of shit.

Anonymous said...

oh my god, this is amazing. this makes me want to get down on my knees and worship you! i absolutely love your blog! /follows/

MOV said...