Thursday, April 21, 2011

Because I said so and that's just the way it is!

I have always been tenacious.  I know, you all are shocked.  When I was little, according to my mother, the term most used to describe me was precocious.   You know, that doesn’t sound bad, when you break down the actual definition.

pre·co·cious/priˈkōSHəs/Adjective
1. (of a child) Having developed certain abilities or proclivities at an earlier age than usual.
2. (of behavior or ability) Indicative of such development

However, when people use that word to describe a child, usually there’s a certain…um…connotation indicative of that being a bad thing.  They don’t know how to describe your child as overly exuberant politely, so they wince just barely enough for you to see it (you know around the eyes, or a slight crinkle in the nose as they look down it at you).  They smile and say “She/He is so *insert pause as they struggle for the right wrong word* precocious.”  They add a slight lilt to their voice and a soft chuckle or giggle and think that makes the insult sweeter.

I was willful and headstrong.  I had to try things, not take for granted that what anyone said was factual.  My mom and dad used to joke with each other that they needed to stay up late at night to read encyclopedias (aging myself there no?) to keep up with me.   I had to know everything.

As a child having an insatiable thirst for answers and knowledge, carries with it a distain for anyone saying “Because I said so” or “That’s just the way it is”.  You want to know “WHY?”  In addition to wanting to know why, that seems to be the question you ask more than any other.  As a child, it’s just what you have to ask.  As an adult, it’s THE most annoying and often dreaded question ever.

I said more times than I can recall growing up that I would never use those answers as a parent.  I loathed those responses.  I wanted and needed to know why the answer was no.  “Because I said so” was not an answer as far as I was concerned, it was a cop out.  The answer was flippant.  I asked questions in earnest and wanted a respectful answer.  An answer that meant my question was heard, considered and replied to appropriately.  That is not to say that I wouldn’t accept "no" as an answer.  I did.  I did often.  I just wanted a reason why the answer was "no".  Some validation, but "no" was acceptable.

The good Lord, in all his infinite wisdom has seen fit to bless me with the opportunity to learn many things as an adult and as a parent.  Among those things is patience and humility.  Neither of those were my strong suit prior to having children.  He has a sense of humor too.  Oh. Yes. He. Does! 

For all my smarts and intellect, I am sometimes a REALLY slow learner.  In order to teach me patience each one of my children came more headstrong than the last.   My youngest son was sent to teach me humility.  My mom laughs at me daily when I share with her my plight in parenting a gifted ADHD child who asks “why?” at every turn.  My toddler has more attitude than any child I have ever met.  She is smart, demanding and apparently here to teach me that I have not yet mastered patience or become humble enough.

Perhaps this is His way of saying "Because I said so" and "That's just the way it is."

5 comments:

Shell said...

LOL I'm convinced that my oldest son is God's idea of karma for me.

WhisperingWriter said...

I say because I said so a lot.

Or, dammit just DO it.

Daffy said...

That humility thing seem to be a running theme in my day today. Just so happens I found my way to this brilliant place and whatdayaknow?! Another lesson that hits home...AND I'm pretty sure I need to grab me a set of encyclo....meh...googlechrome ;O)

Liz said...

"Precocious" is such a cheesed-up, PC term for kids, isn't it?

Helene said...

So true, so true! I'm often left wondering if God's way of teaching me humility and patience was sending me two sets of twins....all strong-willed, opinionated little boogers who question everything I do and say on an hourly basis.